Marathon Rules

This weeks TIART topic is "As you start your marathon training don't forget..." What a great topic! As I was thinking about this, there were a number of things that came to mind. Things like having the proper training plan, eating right, getting plenty of fluids or remembering to listen to your body. All of those things are important...and if you forget them you'll pay the consequences down the road somewhere. But there is a mental aspect to this whole marathon thing that is important to remember throughout the process. That's why it's essential to keep in mind the two cardinal rules of marathoning.

As you start your marathon training, don't forget...

Marathon Rule Number 1: Those who do marathons are crazy.

• Throughout history, people have attempted to find ways to make life easier. They caught and tamed horses so they wouldn't have to run. They created carriages for a smoother ride. They invented automobiles so they wouldn't have to feed the horses. They improved roads so cars could go faster. Tell me again why you want to run 26.2 miles?
• In training for a marathon this year, I will run the equivalent of running from Des Moines to Austin, TX.
• At some point during every marathon I’ve run I’ve vowed I would never do it again. Yet here I go again.
• Who else discusses the color of their pee?
• Carefully watch the expressions of people who learn that you are training for a marathon. You’ll notice that they are quietly wondering if they need to keep you away from sharp objects.
• Here's a three-step sanity check: 1. Reset the odometer the next time you are in the car. 2. Measure 26.2 miles. 3. Think about it.
• Normal people would think that running that much every week might be okay since “you can eat anything you want,” yet most marathoners obsess about what they eat. They carefully watch portions and content in an attempt to prepare for the next run without gaining weight. Notice all of the healthy food articles in running magazines…and that there isn’t a single fast food advertisement.
• The guy pooping in your bushes is probably training for a marathon.

Marathon Rule Number 2: Crazy is good.

• “Uh, no way”: The response I get when I challenge my son’s varsity athlete friends to a foot race…to a point 20 miles away.
• Few great things in life are accomplished without extraordinary commitment. Why settle for ordinary?
• Endorphins.
• The discipline required in marathon training spills over into other areas of life.
• Where else can you spend a morning having hundreds of complete strangers tell you that you're "looking good"?
• Many of my mocking friends huff and puff after climbing a flight of stairs.
• I can wear my "thin" pants.
• Most of my best ideas and the solutions to my most perplexing problems have come while I've been running.
• Remember: If you’ve run from Des Moines to Austin, it's quitting during a run from Minneapolis to St. Paul that would be crazy.
• I can settle into my workday knowing that I have already accomplished something that most people haven’t: I’ve run my miles.
• As I write this in Caribou Coffee, a customer walked in who looks like he's had a few hundred too many Big Macs. Yes, sometimes a long run can really hurt, but it looks like he hurts just standing in line.
• I've cheered as my favorite sports team has won the championship. I've enjoyed winning a close game. But nothing in all of sports (and perhaps almost all of life) feels like crossing the finish line of a marathon. Nothing.

Now it's important to remember these rules because people will question your sanity. There will come a time when you question your sanity. Start your training right by repeating the two rules over and over on at least one training run per week. Then you'll be set for whatever befalls you between now and the finish line.

"I am crazy. Crazy is good. I am crazy. Crazy is good. I am..."