Marathon Memories - Part Two

I decided to run a second marathon. Why? I suppose it is similar to the reasoning of a woman who has had a baby. In the midst of labor, most women vow that they will never endure childbirth again, but within days forget the pain as they hold the results of their labor in their arms. Okay, it's not really like that, after all a t-shirt and a finishers medal hardly match a newborn baby, but its the closest thing I can come up with.

I guess I decided that the whole marathon lifestyle was one that I enjoyed. The discipline of training, the sense of accomplishment, the fact that I was in shape and could consider myself an athlete appealed to me. Besides, if I was already good enough shape to run a marathon, training for another one would be a cinch!

So I pulled out a copy of Runner's World and looked for a nearby spring marathon. We were living in Chicago at the time so the closest spring marathon was the Lake Geneva Marathon. I knew a little about Lake Geneva. My mom had been a lifeguard there when she was young and told stories about walking on a trail around the lake looking at all of the beautiful lake homes. Sounded like a fun marathon. So I signed up.

I should have done more research.

Here's a description of the Lake Geneva Marathon...right off their website:

The course is a challenging and picturesque route around the perimeter of Geneva Lake. The scenic views and unbelievable hills combined with a final run on an ancient Indian trail set the stage for a very memorable marathon. The marathon will be both demanding for the best runners and an opportunity not to be missed for those runners looking for the ultimate marathon challenge.

Marathon brochures are like real estate advertisements. They require interpretation. For example, when you look at real estate ad you know that "cozy" means "small," "handy-man special" means "don't slam the door or it will fall off its hinges," and "close to transportation" means that "you can see the rivets on the wings of the jetliners."

Now let's look at this marathon's advertisement and state what should have been obvious:

• "...a challenging and picturesque route..." - Running 26 miles on the plains of North Dakota would be challenging.
  
• "...around the perimeter of Lake Geneva..." - From start to finish, there is no change in elevation. As you run remember: what goes up, must come down and what goes down will go back up.
• "...unbelievable hills..." - We aren't talking about scenery here.
• "...demanding for the best of runners..." - Does anyone see a problem here?
• "...for runners looking for the ultimate running challenge..." - Hello? Anyone home?

I had pictured a nice asphalt trail running around a large lake surrounded by beautiful homes owned by Chicago millionaires. They didn't promise that.

They delivered on what they promised. It is one of the most difficult marathons in country. It was also well-run.

The marathon course headed out of town and up into the bluffs surrounding the lake and then back down to the lake. Then back up into the bluffs and back down again. Then back up and back down. It reminded me of an airplane practicing landings and take-offs. There wasn't a flat spot on the course.

Non-runners often think that long uphills would be the hardest part of running. And while uphills can be cardiovascularly challenging, it's the downhills that are killers. I cannot just free-wheel down a hill like you might try on a bicycle because my legs just don't go that fast. I wind up "riding the brakes" down the long hills, which is extremely tiring. Because this course was a loop around the lake, every time you headed up a steep incline, you knew that you were going to come back down. Running up a steep hill after running up and down for 15 miles is a real killer mentally because you know the downhill is coming.

I remember reaching the far side of the lake in pretty good shape considering how many hills I had been over. At the far end of the lake was a village that was memorable for two reasons. The first was a red-haired boy of about 10 who was riding a blue bicycle. I remember him vivdly because he decided to play chicken with me. Not a smart thing to do to a marathon runner. It's one of the few times in my life I've ever been seriously tempted to commit a heinous act.

The other reason I remember the village is that at the time it was the stopping point for what I believe was a 25k (about 15 miles). When you registered, you signed up for "the race" and could elect to stop after 25k and no one would be the wiser. Since I had intended to run the full marathon and still felt pretty good, I decided to keep on running.

I headed out of the village and out into the country up and down another set of hills. The course then ran on the shoulder of a four-lane country highway. As I looked down the road I saw a long hill stretching to the horizon. Gathering my strength, I put my head down and headed up, knowing full well that there would be a downhill on the other side. It wouldn't have been bad except...

About halfway up the hill a school bus passed me carrying the runners that had taken the "bail out" option back at the village. One would expect to hear encouraging shouts as the bus rolled past. Instead, the "quitters" were equally divided between shaking their heads at my folly and openly laughing and pointing at me. I remember thinking that I was going have a few words with them when I saw them at the finish line. Then I realized that they would probably be long gone by the time I finished.

Sigh.

By the time I hit the "ancient Indian trail" heading toward the finish line, I was too pooped to look for anyone other than my wife. I was too tired to raise my hands as a I crossed the finish life. I had just finished the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I collapsed into the grass and vowed never to run another marathon again.

Three days later...